Dinner with a side of Grieving...

I've suffered a great loss in my life this week. It feels like this week has been an eternity. My grandmother passed away Tuesday after a 2 week long stay in the ICU. My family has expressed a wide array of emotions over this sad event. Some of us cry. Some of us are indifferent. Some of us just act plain ridiculous. I on the other hand...I just get pissed off. I'm angry, and it unfortunately shows. While most people would just cry in their Wheaties for a while, I want to scream and act like I'm fit for WWF wrestling. And it's not a fit of rage like you'd expect. No, I'm not yelling "Why GOD why?" and beating on my chest. I'm just pissed off. Everything has pissed me off this week. Talking to people about work stuff has pissed me off. Picking up my house pissed me off. Doing laundry pissed me off even more. Even my phone ringing pissed me off on Friday, and that is a rare occasion....me being pissed that my phone rings that is...

So needless to say, I decided to make dinner tonight for the first time in a quite a while. It was actually just what the doctor ordered. Chopping the garlic for the black beans, and marinating my chicken breasts just made me less angry.... and as the food cooked, I started to cry. Yes, I cried...only I did so in my frijoles negros, not Wheaties. I cried because I feel lost this weekend. I want to be sad but I know that is not what she would want me to be.

Dinner is ready and we're enjoying our food and I'm feeling much better. Grandma taught me a lot of things, and has made me a strong woman. I am grateful to have had her with me for 31 years. And she'll always be with me in my heart.